About me...

13 things you may or may not know about me

1.     My name is Jennifer – I prefer Jen

2.     My birthday is in May and right now I’m 31

3.     I live in Colorado

4.     I teach high school students with significant support needs (read as Special Ed) I love what I do, my students are amazing

5.     Running saved me from depression this past summer when I lost my mom and then my Aunt 3 days later (reasons were unrelated)

6.     In August I was hit by a car in the gym parking lot (the driver drove off) and I was not allowed to work for 10 days or workout intensely for 6 weeks – nearly broke me!

7.     I had a major accident 7 years ago and I am lucky to be alive (I fell 30 ft while rock climbing – yes I was roped up but I was lead climbing, no I was not wearing a helmet…Yes I climbed again after that, no, I do not climb any longer)

8.     I have an amazing family who, for the most part, live within 30 minutes of me

9.     I also have the most supportive boyfriend (and his family too!) a girl could ask for…He’s my biggest cheerleader and reality check all in the same package J (and his dad runs races with me!)

10. I am the person that wants to encourage everyone I pass especially in a race (i.e. come on, you can do it…run with me…you got this….etc)– I don’t do it out loud though because I don’t want them to hate me….

11. I never thought I would like running – but then I tried it…. and I love the days that my body proves my brain wrong!

12. I’m definitely the person that likes to prove people wrong…you think I can’t well - I can and I will do it – watch me! J

. I’m little – not super short just little. I’ve accepted it, but there are still days that the “you look too skinny” or “are you sure you’re being healthy?” comments really get to me…I don’t eat clean or run or workout to lose weight, I do it to stay healthy. I’m very conscious of my weight and there are times I have to work hard to stay at a healthy 103 lbs and not drop lower or pick up empty calories just to make the comments stop. 

I'm Fit & Healthy - Not too Skinny

I realize that not many people have trouble keeping their weight or gaining weight, and that many would like to have a problem like mine; but I think my "problem" is very similar although completely backwards....
Ok so I am 31 years old and I am 5'4" and I have never, in my life, weighed more than 120 lbs. I'm little - it's the best description that I have, I always have been and I am guessing based on my grandmother and great grandmother that my size will not change very much.... I do not have to work very hard to stay at 110 lbs. which I know is a blessing, but I do have to work hard to maintain muscle mass and tone, just like everyone else. But I also have to work to keep my body in a healthy weight zone. (docs don't like when I drop much below 104)
I'm very conscious of the days that I feel a little smaller than the day before or the week before; I pay attention when I have to tighten my belt and I know when my clothes feel like they fit differently.
Despite the criticism I get, I recently re-vamped the way that I eat. I eat more often and I try to eat very nutrient dense foods, so that I am not getting a ton of empty calories and my body can run more efficiently. The beauty that this plan has brought is that i don't crave junk, and because of that I don't have a hard time saying no to it, because I know its not going to do anything beneficial for my body. It may make me sluggish or make my stomach hurt but there is no part of either of those outcomes that is appealing to me.
I am a Special Education teacher and I love to run and I enjoy the gym. It can be difficult to get there some days but once I'm there my motivation takes over and I get in a zone. I work with a lot of women, some of these women are super supportive and know that I am little, but I am also fit and healthy...others seem to feel like it is there duty to tell me that I am too skinny, or that my face looks gaunt and that I am losing too much weight...as I said before more than a pound one way or the other and I notice. I just wish I had the courage to tell these ladies; who I know are just trying to tell me they care, that their comments don't help. I imagine it feels the same to me as someone say "oh looks like you've put on some weight" feels to everyone else; it can bring me to tears sometimes.
I am surrounded by family and friends who love and know me well; inside and out. I know that these cherished members of my life look at me from their hearts...if they tell me that they see a change their words will matter most. Now what I need to learn is how to let other people's words roll off my back, like water on the back of a duck.

I'm not running away from it - I'm running through it

I cannot even begin to explain how glad I am that 2013 is over. Granted there were some wonderful things that happened over the past year, but looking back on 2013 stirs up a lot of pain. I lost my mom. Those 4 words are still hard for me to say, and I think that the more tears I cry the more miles I run.
I don't think that I am running away from anything rather I am running my way through it. Life is hard, no one ever told me it would be easy but my mom was the best at reminding me that it was always worth it.  She would remind me to not settle for less than I deserved and to always fight for myself and the people and things that I love.
Now I'm pushing my friends and family - whether they like it or not, because if I can help them get/be/stay healthy - the chance that I will get to spend more time with them increases and I am fighting to keep them all for as long as possible. Sure accidents happen, and I truly believe when it is your time to go, it is your time to go - but why push it? Why give your self anything less than the best possible odds to live a long healthy and happy life? Of course you have to do it for you, you have to do it because YOU want it - but on the days it's harder to hit the trail or get to the gym - do it for the people you love, and the people that love you. You owe it to yourself, and you owe it to them.
On those bad days push through the pain, push through the strife, push through the irritating traffic and the grumpy people you've encountered and remind yourself what in your life makes you smile...what can make you laugh so hard that you cry...what just by sight or sound can turn your day around? Then surround yourself with those people and those things...Don't be afraid to fight for your right to happiness.
My mom once told me that when she was younger she thought it was the polite thing to just bite her tongue and keep her opinion to herself; but as she aged she learned that if she didn't speak up - often no one would. IF you know what your body needs; if you know how your mind heals and your heart mends; Do That. Do it for you because no one else can do it for you.
When people ask me when I became a runner, I know the date - I always will, it's June 21, 2013 the day after my Mom left this earth. Then when they ask why I turned to running or what I'm trying to run from - I tell them, I'm not running away from my feelings, I'm not running away from my loss or my pain...I'm just running my way through it (because no one else can do it for me).

Healing

Now I am trying to heal; from many things. I think that being hit by a car forced me to slow down, when I was hitting hard at the gym and focusing on so many other things while moving forward to a more healthy way of life. I was unable to go to the gym for a month and a half and could barely walk 2 miles without pain.

For anyone that knows me, you know that I don't sit still well and that I have a hard time listening when people tell me that I can't do something, thanks to this and many other quirks, I am incredibly competitive by nature. So having my doctors tell me that i needed time off was not welcome. I didn't want time off of work and I certainly didn't want to take time off of going to the gym...

Unfortunately, I was still peeing blood, and there was no way around that. My organs needed to start healing and the doctors said I had to quit moving. I was put on medical leave at work and was strictly ordered to not go to the gym,

When someone takes away your life, for lack of better words, life as you know it gets flipped, 180 degrees before you know it. Suddenly, I was stuck at home, with little that I could do without prolonging healing, according to the health professionals. Everything that was such a wonderful distraction was suddenly not allowed. I got a lot of rest, and a lot of reading done over that time, and time to process the other occurrences of my summer without running or activity involved...and the house was clean and dinner was made almost every night (I didn't transition well from super active to sedentary).
My mom was an amazing and colorful woman, she supported my overzealous gym-lifestyle and appreciated that I was working so hard to get and stay healthy. She loved that I looked outside of medicines and pills when I was sick and that I worked so hard to be natural and heal naturally from nearly everything. Now, with her gone; I feel I owe my health to myself; I deserve it. I want to get married and have kids and I hope that my love of fitness helps instill the importance of being healthy into them. I try to think positive when I think about the loss of my mom, which can be nearly impossible on somedays, BUT I know she would want me to move forward and keep smiling and that gives me strength on even the toughest days. I know she'll be guiding me for the rest of my days, through my wedding and raising children and all the other obstacles that I have yet to conquer.
This last week was my first full week back at work. By Wednesday I was exhausted, and by the end of physical therapy for my hips I could barely move. Thursday was awful. I had to take Advil all day long just to handle the pain and not let it settle in and take over. Thankfully Friday was much better. Today I went to the gym with the sole intention of sitting in the sauna to loosen up and then stretching followed with a long hot shower at the gym. I am proud to say that I stuck to my plan. I have a race tomorrow, my goal is to run for a max of 5 minutes but at least for 1, and see how I feel...My long term goals include another 5k in November, at a more normal pace for me...Then a half marathon before April. I'm still thinking of the Pikes Peak Ascent, and it still has me intrigued - as does the Yellowstone half. So I'm hoping to get healthy and get back on the race bandwagon as soon as possible.

Catching Up

October 5, 2013 - it has been over a year, and I nearly forgot that I had a blog ooops :).
The past several months have been trying at best for me. I lost my mom in June while worlds away from her and uttered my goodbye through tears, over the phone as she lay in my father's arms...less then a half an hour after I told her that I wasn't ready for her to go, but I understood; My brother called to tell me she was gone. I was wracked with grief, I didn't know how empty I would feel when I heard those words, how hollow, how surreal and painful they were.  I hope that my mom was not in pain, I am thankful that I got to tell her I loved her, and I was even able to Skype with her the morning before - when she seemed to be doing so well. I hated how alone my dad was and was thankful that the family of the Villa Alegria had welcomed him in as their own, and that he was not alone in those nights leading up to him coming back to CO. They assisted my father with  getting everything squared away in the week before he came home and helped him with everything. They made sure he was eating, and they took care of him, when no one else could. And for that I will be forever grateful.
Less then 72 hours later my Aunt Rhoda passed away from Liver cancer. My brother, my sister-in-law and I gathered with my uncles and my cousins in a small room in Memorial Hospital to see my aunt and my family and let them know we were there, and we love them and her of course. My Aunt's beautiful funeral was a week later just after my Dad got back to Colorado.
The months of June and July blur together for me. I spent a lot of time running or at the gym - trying to lose my self and cope simultaneously. There were days that I was at the gym 3 times and others that i would go to the gym, then teach golf and then run...I had to stay busy, when I wasn't busy my mind drifted, and my heart would hurt. I lost myself in my addiction to the gym, it was healthy for me, I had found an outlet that allowed me to feel better but process my grief at the same time, all while making myself into a better & healthier person.
In August, just after a friend of mine completed the Pikes Peak Ascent, I decided that I would like to be able to do that - this coming year too, so I started talking training with her, while continuing my fairly crazy gym schedule and work began again.
On Saturday August 17, I was leaving the gym, after a Les Mills bodypump class and a shower. I was putting my gym bag into the driver-side passenger door, when the car next to me started and began to back up...I noticed that the vehicle was backing out crooked but not in time to get out from between my car door and my car. She hit my door which in turn smashed me between the door and the frame of the car. I called and reported the accident, because the woman had left the scene and I had her license plate number. When the police, the fire engine and the ambulance showed up I thought that I was okay. I went home to change clothes and get an ice pack before I headed to Skyview for my boyfriend's softball tournament. Less then 2 hours later, while watching one of the softball games, I no longer felt okay, my abdomen was tender and my back hurt. I went to the ER, when I noticed I was bleeding.

Just be Happy to Have a Glass

I find it very interesting that while touring through foreign countries, I overhear "Americans" complaining about the culture and lifestyles of the places that they are visiting. I find it intriguing at best to listen in on these conversations. Often people complain about the social skills of others, or living conditions. The most common complaint is the driving skills of others. However; if you are visiting a country that had no formal driver training courses until 2 years ago - you'll have a lot to complain about if that is your goal. Sure it is frustrating, sure it can feel very dangerous to be sharing the road with some of these drivers and you're right, no one can ever drive better then you, ever.
I'm not saying you shouldn't drive (although it may be a good suggestion) instead what I ask is that you change you're attitude before you go into cardiac arrest. Bare in mind, some of these countries do not have formal driver training, others have recently implemented such training and others rely on the family to teach their children and themselves through the process of trial and error. Instead of being upset by the fact that the guy in the left lane decided to turn right, be excited that they used their turn signal to do so, because they typically don't use their turn signals, for anything. Instead of criticizing the cold showers and lack of air conditioning appreciate the simplicity of living within your means, even if that means a house with no doors and a long clothesline draped across the yard. Instead of looking at someone with downcast eyes because they do not speak English, realize that you are in their world and welcome their smile into your life.
You will not always be the majority, and sometimes things will happen that will knock you down to your knees, understand in your heart, that others have been there and conquered their demons (like you will), often by beginning to appreciate the small things and the simple beauty of life its self.
Some people see the glass as half full, some people see the glass is half empty, and some are just as happy to have a glass at all; strive to be like the last one.

Centroamerican Adventuring

I have been in Central America for 5 days now, with the lucky opportunity of visiting Panama and Costa Rica. I am here for the mostly for the purpose of visiting my Mom, whom is receiving amazing care at the Villa Alegria in Alajuela. The people that take care of her, care so much about her you can see it in their eyes. They are simply wonderful with my Mom. My Dad and my Uncle Larry are also here, my dad is her for 90 days at a time with vacations after each 90 due to the requirement to leave the country for 72 hours every 90 days. My uncle is held to the same rules, only he spends Costa Rica's winter (which is summertime to those of us in the northern hemisphere) in the US usually, Dad would do this if Mom was able to go each time also, but at this point her care is more important.
Panama is one of the most beautiful places I have ever been, we went to Chiriqui - David and also spent several hours exploring Chiriqui - Boquete. The people are friendly and there is no currency exchange required. In Costa Rica, there is a need for currency exchange and most of the people are friendly but it's a whole new adventure to drive here...some of these pot-hole could easily consume a Volkswagen Beetle. The flora and fauna of this part of Central America (Costa Rica & Panama) is unexplainable. The smell of the forests and the greenness of the surrounding is indescribable, and some of the roadways to these views seem impassable at 45+degree angles with approximately 10 foot wide paved roads.

I consider myself very lucky to have been able to make this trip and arrive only to be greeted by family that is excited to see me and ready to show me some of the wonders that Central America has to offer.

On the job front - I received an email congratulating me on my offer from the school district...now I need my University to get my verification form back to me so I can complete my CDE application in-timely fashion to sign an offer letter by August 5, so that I can start my new career August 7.