About me...

13 things you may or may not know about me

1.     My name is Jennifer – I prefer Jen

2.     My birthday is in May and right now I’m 31

3.     I live in Colorado

4.     I teach high school students with significant support needs (read as Special Ed) I love what I do, my students are amazing

5.     Running saved me from depression this past summer when I lost my mom and then my Aunt 3 days later (reasons were unrelated)

6.     In August I was hit by a car in the gym parking lot (the driver drove off) and I was not allowed to work for 10 days or workout intensely for 6 weeks – nearly broke me!

7.     I had a major accident 7 years ago and I am lucky to be alive (I fell 30 ft while rock climbing – yes I was roped up but I was lead climbing, no I was not wearing a helmet…Yes I climbed again after that, no, I do not climb any longer)

8.     I have an amazing family who, for the most part, live within 30 minutes of me

9.     I also have the most supportive boyfriend (and his family too!) a girl could ask for…He’s my biggest cheerleader and reality check all in the same package J (and his dad runs races with me!)

10. I am the person that wants to encourage everyone I pass especially in a race (i.e. come on, you can do it…run with me…you got this….etc)– I don’t do it out loud though because I don’t want them to hate me….

11. I never thought I would like running – but then I tried it…. and I love the days that my body proves my brain wrong!

12. I’m definitely the person that likes to prove people wrong…you think I can’t well - I can and I will do it – watch me! J

. I’m little – not super short just little. I’ve accepted it, but there are still days that the “you look too skinny” or “are you sure you’re being healthy?” comments really get to me…I don’t eat clean or run or workout to lose weight, I do it to stay healthy. I’m very conscious of my weight and there are times I have to work hard to stay at a healthy 103 lbs and not drop lower or pick up empty calories just to make the comments stop. 

I'm Fit & Healthy - Not too Skinny

I realize that not many people have trouble keeping their weight or gaining weight, and that many would like to have a problem like mine; but I think my "problem" is very similar although completely backwards....
Ok so I am 31 years old and I am 5'4" and I have never, in my life, weighed more than 120 lbs. I'm little - it's the best description that I have, I always have been and I am guessing based on my grandmother and great grandmother that my size will not change very much.... I do not have to work very hard to stay at 110 lbs. which I know is a blessing, but I do have to work hard to maintain muscle mass and tone, just like everyone else. But I also have to work to keep my body in a healthy weight zone. (docs don't like when I drop much below 104)
I'm very conscious of the days that I feel a little smaller than the day before or the week before; I pay attention when I have to tighten my belt and I know when my clothes feel like they fit differently.
Despite the criticism I get, I recently re-vamped the way that I eat. I eat more often and I try to eat very nutrient dense foods, so that I am not getting a ton of empty calories and my body can run more efficiently. The beauty that this plan has brought is that i don't crave junk, and because of that I don't have a hard time saying no to it, because I know its not going to do anything beneficial for my body. It may make me sluggish or make my stomach hurt but there is no part of either of those outcomes that is appealing to me.
I am a Special Education teacher and I love to run and I enjoy the gym. It can be difficult to get there some days but once I'm there my motivation takes over and I get in a zone. I work with a lot of women, some of these women are super supportive and know that I am little, but I am also fit and healthy...others seem to feel like it is there duty to tell me that I am too skinny, or that my face looks gaunt and that I am losing too much weight...as I said before more than a pound one way or the other and I notice. I just wish I had the courage to tell these ladies; who I know are just trying to tell me they care, that their comments don't help. I imagine it feels the same to me as someone say "oh looks like you've put on some weight" feels to everyone else; it can bring me to tears sometimes.
I am surrounded by family and friends who love and know me well; inside and out. I know that these cherished members of my life look at me from their hearts...if they tell me that they see a change their words will matter most. Now what I need to learn is how to let other people's words roll off my back, like water on the back of a duck.

I'm not running away from it - I'm running through it

I cannot even begin to explain how glad I am that 2013 is over. Granted there were some wonderful things that happened over the past year, but looking back on 2013 stirs up a lot of pain. I lost my mom. Those 4 words are still hard for me to say, and I think that the more tears I cry the more miles I run.
I don't think that I am running away from anything rather I am running my way through it. Life is hard, no one ever told me it would be easy but my mom was the best at reminding me that it was always worth it.  She would remind me to not settle for less than I deserved and to always fight for myself and the people and things that I love.
Now I'm pushing my friends and family - whether they like it or not, because if I can help them get/be/stay healthy - the chance that I will get to spend more time with them increases and I am fighting to keep them all for as long as possible. Sure accidents happen, and I truly believe when it is your time to go, it is your time to go - but why push it? Why give your self anything less than the best possible odds to live a long healthy and happy life? Of course you have to do it for you, you have to do it because YOU want it - but on the days it's harder to hit the trail or get to the gym - do it for the people you love, and the people that love you. You owe it to yourself, and you owe it to them.
On those bad days push through the pain, push through the strife, push through the irritating traffic and the grumpy people you've encountered and remind yourself what in your life makes you smile...what can make you laugh so hard that you cry...what just by sight or sound can turn your day around? Then surround yourself with those people and those things...Don't be afraid to fight for your right to happiness.
My mom once told me that when she was younger she thought it was the polite thing to just bite her tongue and keep her opinion to herself; but as she aged she learned that if she didn't speak up - often no one would. IF you know what your body needs; if you know how your mind heals and your heart mends; Do That. Do it for you because no one else can do it for you.
When people ask me when I became a runner, I know the date - I always will, it's June 21, 2013 the day after my Mom left this earth. Then when they ask why I turned to running or what I'm trying to run from - I tell them, I'm not running away from my feelings, I'm not running away from my loss or my pain...I'm just running my way through it (because no one else can do it for me).