I realize that not many people have trouble keeping their weight or gaining weight, and that many would like to have a problem like mine; but I think my "problem" is very similar although completely backwards....
Ok so I am 31 years old and I am 5'4" and I have never, in my life, weighed more than 120 lbs. I'm little - it's the best description that I have, I always have been and I am guessing based on my grandmother and great grandmother that my size will not change very much.... I do not have to work very hard to stay at 110 lbs. which I know is a blessing, but I do have to work hard to maintain muscle mass and tone, just like everyone else. But I also have to work to keep my body in a healthy weight zone. (docs don't like when I drop much below 104)
I'm very conscious of the days that I feel a little smaller than the day before or the week before; I pay attention when I have to tighten my belt and I know when my clothes feel like they fit differently.
Despite the criticism I get, I recently re-vamped the way that I eat. I eat more often and I try to eat very nutrient dense foods, so that I am not getting a ton of empty calories and my body can run more efficiently. The beauty that this plan has brought is that i don't crave junk, and because of that I don't have a hard time saying no to it, because I know its not going to do anything beneficial for my body. It may make me sluggish or make my stomach hurt but there is no part of either of those outcomes that is appealing to me.
I am a Special Education teacher and I love to run and I enjoy the gym. It can be difficult to get there some days but once I'm there my motivation takes over and I get in a zone. I work with a lot of women, some of these women are super supportive and know that I am little, but I am also fit and healthy...others seem to feel like it is there duty to tell me that I am too skinny, or that my face looks gaunt and that I am losing too much weight...as I said before more than a pound one way or the other and I notice. I just wish I had the courage to tell these ladies; who I know are just trying to tell me they care, that their comments don't help. I imagine it feels the same to me as someone say "oh looks like you've put on some weight" feels to everyone else; it can bring me to tears sometimes.
I am surrounded by family and friends who love and know me well; inside and out. I know that these cherished members of my life look at me from their hearts...if they tell me that they see a change their words will matter most. Now what I need to learn is how to let other people's words roll off my back, like water on the back of a duck.
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