Healing

Now I am trying to heal; from many things. I think that being hit by a car forced me to slow down, when I was hitting hard at the gym and focusing on so many other things while moving forward to a more healthy way of life. I was unable to go to the gym for a month and a half and could barely walk 2 miles without pain.

For anyone that knows me, you know that I don't sit still well and that I have a hard time listening when people tell me that I can't do something, thanks to this and many other quirks, I am incredibly competitive by nature. So having my doctors tell me that i needed time off was not welcome. I didn't want time off of work and I certainly didn't want to take time off of going to the gym...

Unfortunately, I was still peeing blood, and there was no way around that. My organs needed to start healing and the doctors said I had to quit moving. I was put on medical leave at work and was strictly ordered to not go to the gym,

When someone takes away your life, for lack of better words, life as you know it gets flipped, 180 degrees before you know it. Suddenly, I was stuck at home, with little that I could do without prolonging healing, according to the health professionals. Everything that was such a wonderful distraction was suddenly not allowed. I got a lot of rest, and a lot of reading done over that time, and time to process the other occurrences of my summer without running or activity involved...and the house was clean and dinner was made almost every night (I didn't transition well from super active to sedentary).
My mom was an amazing and colorful woman, she supported my overzealous gym-lifestyle and appreciated that I was working so hard to get and stay healthy. She loved that I looked outside of medicines and pills when I was sick and that I worked so hard to be natural and heal naturally from nearly everything. Now, with her gone; I feel I owe my health to myself; I deserve it. I want to get married and have kids and I hope that my love of fitness helps instill the importance of being healthy into them. I try to think positive when I think about the loss of my mom, which can be nearly impossible on somedays, BUT I know she would want me to move forward and keep smiling and that gives me strength on even the toughest days. I know she'll be guiding me for the rest of my days, through my wedding and raising children and all the other obstacles that I have yet to conquer.
This last week was my first full week back at work. By Wednesday I was exhausted, and by the end of physical therapy for my hips I could barely move. Thursday was awful. I had to take Advil all day long just to handle the pain and not let it settle in and take over. Thankfully Friday was much better. Today I went to the gym with the sole intention of sitting in the sauna to loosen up and then stretching followed with a long hot shower at the gym. I am proud to say that I stuck to my plan. I have a race tomorrow, my goal is to run for a max of 5 minutes but at least for 1, and see how I feel...My long term goals include another 5k in November, at a more normal pace for me...Then a half marathon before April. I'm still thinking of the Pikes Peak Ascent, and it still has me intrigued - as does the Yellowstone half. So I'm hoping to get healthy and get back on the race bandwagon as soon as possible.

Catching Up

October 5, 2013 - it has been over a year, and I nearly forgot that I had a blog ooops :).
The past several months have been trying at best for me. I lost my mom in June while worlds away from her and uttered my goodbye through tears, over the phone as she lay in my father's arms...less then a half an hour after I told her that I wasn't ready for her to go, but I understood; My brother called to tell me she was gone. I was wracked with grief, I didn't know how empty I would feel when I heard those words, how hollow, how surreal and painful they were.  I hope that my mom was not in pain, I am thankful that I got to tell her I loved her, and I was even able to Skype with her the morning before - when she seemed to be doing so well. I hated how alone my dad was and was thankful that the family of the Villa Alegria had welcomed him in as their own, and that he was not alone in those nights leading up to him coming back to CO. They assisted my father with  getting everything squared away in the week before he came home and helped him with everything. They made sure he was eating, and they took care of him, when no one else could. And for that I will be forever grateful.
Less then 72 hours later my Aunt Rhoda passed away from Liver cancer. My brother, my sister-in-law and I gathered with my uncles and my cousins in a small room in Memorial Hospital to see my aunt and my family and let them know we were there, and we love them and her of course. My Aunt's beautiful funeral was a week later just after my Dad got back to Colorado.
The months of June and July blur together for me. I spent a lot of time running or at the gym - trying to lose my self and cope simultaneously. There were days that I was at the gym 3 times and others that i would go to the gym, then teach golf and then run...I had to stay busy, when I wasn't busy my mind drifted, and my heart would hurt. I lost myself in my addiction to the gym, it was healthy for me, I had found an outlet that allowed me to feel better but process my grief at the same time, all while making myself into a better & healthier person.
In August, just after a friend of mine completed the Pikes Peak Ascent, I decided that I would like to be able to do that - this coming year too, so I started talking training with her, while continuing my fairly crazy gym schedule and work began again.
On Saturday August 17, I was leaving the gym, after a Les Mills bodypump class and a shower. I was putting my gym bag into the driver-side passenger door, when the car next to me started and began to back up...I noticed that the vehicle was backing out crooked but not in time to get out from between my car door and my car. She hit my door which in turn smashed me between the door and the frame of the car. I called and reported the accident, because the woman had left the scene and I had her license plate number. When the police, the fire engine and the ambulance showed up I thought that I was okay. I went home to change clothes and get an ice pack before I headed to Skyview for my boyfriend's softball tournament. Less then 2 hours later, while watching one of the softball games, I no longer felt okay, my abdomen was tender and my back hurt. I went to the ER, when I noticed I was bleeding.